Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
