Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
me + whiskey = a bad person
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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