Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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