Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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