do herpes really smell.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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