What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
