Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
