Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
