Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
