you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
