im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
