Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
