he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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