Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
