You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
