Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
