i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize