dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
