The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
