the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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