it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
