I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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