You work out of a Hotel?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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