i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
