My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
