Dual....:-)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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