It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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