thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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