Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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