I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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