i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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