I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
