At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
