Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
