I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
