Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
