Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
