Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
