i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
