shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
