i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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