fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
