The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
