You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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