Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
