Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
