omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
