Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
