look no pants
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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