i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
