Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
