I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
