Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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