yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
