Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
