As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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