the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You're a waste of cheezeits
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
