is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
