Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
