WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
