I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
