just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
