I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
