Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
